Well today I had my first ultrasound. Yeah!!!! If I had a printer with a scanner I would post a picture of our little baby bean:) but I don't so too bad. lol According to the Ultrasound I am 10 weeks along. According to my cycle I'm only 9 weeks and one day. So My official Due date is Feb 14th:) But my ultrasound says I'm due on the 8th so I'll just tell people the 14th cuz that's what my doctors say. But it doesn't matter cuz I probably won't go until then. lol My sisters usually don't go to their due date so we'll see.
They said everything was looking great. Our baby is an inch and a half long from head to rump! :) So tiny but we could see where his/her little legs and feet and arms and hands are developing and we can see the brain. Our little alien is so freaking cute. It feels like I'm really pregnant now and I'm more excited than ever:) Woot!!! Our little bug was going crazy during the ultrasound and moving around all over the place. He's definitely a wiggler our little bean is. lol We're so excited!!!! Woot! Anyway If I ever get to a printer with a scanner on it I'll put the ultrasound pics up. YEAH!!!!!! More later:)
Monday, July 13, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Ramblings of a pregnant woman
So I haven't written for a while. I haven't really had anything to say. Lately I haven't even wanted to sit in front of the computer for longer than five minutes at a time. Just long enough to check my email and facebook to see if anyone has written anything to me. And of course to check on blogspot to see if anything new and exciting is happening in any of the people's lives that I follow.
I often wish my life was this amazing adventure and that I traveled the world or did great things. But then I really think about it and my life is a little adventure in itself. I've never really been the type to voyage anywhere. I was always perfectly content to stay at home with my parents. While all of my friends were so excited to go to college and leave home I was petrified. I didn't really want to go. One because I'm a homebody and don't like leaving home except for visiting people but I can't wait to be back home when I leave. And Two because I had no idea what I wanted to do. What's the point in going if I don't know what I want to do? I still don't know what I want to do for that matter and I even took a career class.
Ok I know what I want, I just want to stay at home and be a mommy. But I'm suppose to get an education. What does that even mean? It doesn't always mean going to school. It could mean just learning about whatever I want as much as I can. Or just learning from people around me. Or learning how to be a good wife and mother and homemaker. My mom is convinced otherwise and thinks I have to go to school. I don't WANT to go to school. I did once for a year and a half and it sucked. I was miserable. I mean I met cool people and made new friends that changed my life but you don't have to go to school to have that happen.
And now I'm married which is wonderful. I love him so much. And I'm pregnant. My mom always told me when I get married and have kids that I would be closer with my brothers and sisters who I have never really been close with except for a few of them in recent years because of the huge age difference. And that always made me angry. Why shouldn't I know them and talk to them like they were my friends. I think alot of them can't get past the fact that I'm not 10 years old anymore, I'm an adult. I knew kids in high school that I hardly talked to better than I knew the majority of my siblings. It always makes me sad and angry. Oh I'm sure they never knew. I'm sure they all thought I was there bratty kid sister with an attitude that didn't want to be around them and that I hated their kids. And I don't blame them I wasn't a sweet cookie all the time. And I'm sorry for that.
And now that I'm married and pregnant I know some of them better. And it's only because I'm married and pregnant that I know them better. Why is that? What is it about being married and pregnant that all of a sudden makes it ok to get to know me better? Why wasn't I good enough to really get to know before? Does it mean we have more in common now? I dunno. Why didn't we have enough in common already I mean we are from the same family that should be enough.
But whatever I'm past that stage in my life and now I'm in an entirely new adventure that I couldn't imagine myself in before. I'm in love with this baby that I don't even know yet, I can't imagine how much more I'll love he or she when they are actually here and I can hold him. I can't stop wondering what they'll be like if I'll have a girl and she'll be as crazy and bratty as I was/am or if I'll have a boy and he'll be like his daddy. I can't stop wondering if I'll have twins. I know that sounds weird but I just can't. I don't think it means I will have twins I just think about it alot. It could be possible twins do run in my family.
Anyway I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. I guess I'll end. I didn't really write this for response or answers to anything. I just wrote it to clear my head and get it in the open so it will leave me alone I guess. So goodbye for now!
I often wish my life was this amazing adventure and that I traveled the world or did great things. But then I really think about it and my life is a little adventure in itself. I've never really been the type to voyage anywhere. I was always perfectly content to stay at home with my parents. While all of my friends were so excited to go to college and leave home I was petrified. I didn't really want to go. One because I'm a homebody and don't like leaving home except for visiting people but I can't wait to be back home when I leave. And Two because I had no idea what I wanted to do. What's the point in going if I don't know what I want to do? I still don't know what I want to do for that matter and I even took a career class.
Ok I know what I want, I just want to stay at home and be a mommy. But I'm suppose to get an education. What does that even mean? It doesn't always mean going to school. It could mean just learning about whatever I want as much as I can. Or just learning from people around me. Or learning how to be a good wife and mother and homemaker. My mom is convinced otherwise and thinks I have to go to school. I don't WANT to go to school. I did once for a year and a half and it sucked. I was miserable. I mean I met cool people and made new friends that changed my life but you don't have to go to school to have that happen.
And now I'm married which is wonderful. I love him so much. And I'm pregnant. My mom always told me when I get married and have kids that I would be closer with my brothers and sisters who I have never really been close with except for a few of them in recent years because of the huge age difference. And that always made me angry. Why shouldn't I know them and talk to them like they were my friends. I think alot of them can't get past the fact that I'm not 10 years old anymore, I'm an adult. I knew kids in high school that I hardly talked to better than I knew the majority of my siblings. It always makes me sad and angry. Oh I'm sure they never knew. I'm sure they all thought I was there bratty kid sister with an attitude that didn't want to be around them and that I hated their kids. And I don't blame them I wasn't a sweet cookie all the time. And I'm sorry for that.
And now that I'm married and pregnant I know some of them better. And it's only because I'm married and pregnant that I know them better. Why is that? What is it about being married and pregnant that all of a sudden makes it ok to get to know me better? Why wasn't I good enough to really get to know before? Does it mean we have more in common now? I dunno. Why didn't we have enough in common already I mean we are from the same family that should be enough.
But whatever I'm past that stage in my life and now I'm in an entirely new adventure that I couldn't imagine myself in before. I'm in love with this baby that I don't even know yet, I can't imagine how much more I'll love he or she when they are actually here and I can hold him. I can't stop wondering what they'll be like if I'll have a girl and she'll be as crazy and bratty as I was/am or if I'll have a boy and he'll be like his daddy. I can't stop wondering if I'll have twins. I know that sounds weird but I just can't. I don't think it means I will have twins I just think about it alot. It could be possible twins do run in my family.
Anyway I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. I guess I'll end. I didn't really write this for response or answers to anything. I just wrote it to clear my head and get it in the open so it will leave me alone I guess. So goodbye for now!
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