Families Are Forever!

I talked in another post about how I like to scrapbook and wish I had more money to get materials for scrapbooking even though I haven't done it that much. You have to start somewhere tho right? You can't start awesome at everything and I certainly have a long way to get there until then.

Anyway, here is a scrapbook I made for a college English project in the fall/winter of 2007 when I went to BYU-Idaho. I cheated. I had one of those pre-designed scrapbooks where they have the paper matching and pattern stuff already. You just add the photos and stickers and little things you want to it. But here it is. It's on Families and How I believe that families are together forever!

Second Guessing Myself

I'm beginning to second guess myself about leaving facebook. Wondering if it was really the right thing to do. I think it is. In fact I'm pretty positive it was/is the right thing for me right now. But I can't help but wonder. I know it's only because I miss it and I miss talking to the people on it as often as I do. I haven't really texted or called anyone since I left. I don't want to interrupt their lives or call/text at an inconvenient time. I think that's why I like facebook so much, because I can just type them a little note and they can check it/respond in their own time. I feel like people can't do that when you call or text. You have to respond immediately and stop whatever you're doing to do it. I know that's flawed logic but isn't most of my logic flawed in some way? Don't worry I'm trying to work on that.

So I'm gonna try and communicate more with people and try not to feel like I'm being an unwanted interruption. That's the whole point of this right? To fix myself? Well we'll see how that works out, I have to change my attitude of me thinking I'm broken and no one wants me first. Wish me luck or pray for me or whatever it is that you do when someone needs help.

I have the feeling this blog is going to turn more journalish. Journalish. That's not even a word. I must be bored. I wish I had a sewing machine or money to scrapbook. I love scrapbooking. I haven't done much but what I have done I love. Hmmm I think I'll post that next. A scrap book I did for college. Yes that's it. See you in the next post my faithful readers! If I have any that is. lol

An Explanation

I'm sure anyone of you who are on Facebook are wondering what happened to me. The truth is nothing really happened to me. I'm not in the middle of a crisis and don't have time for Facebook. I'm not having relationship/family issues that I need to work on that would require me getting off of Facebook. Really nothing happened.

I love Facebook, and despite what my family thinks, I am NOT on Facebook all the time. I actually don't get on there that much and if I am on there for a while it's usually because I'm chatting with a friend. Sure in my free time while Robert sleeps I might play a game or two on there but that doesn't take that much time. I love the group of ladies on there (you know who you are) that I have become quite close too. I'll miss being able to get on everyday and see how they are and how their families are. I will miss them. I'll miss all the pictures (I absolutely LOVE pictures) of people I don't get to see all the time. And I'll miss talking to/checking up on the only friends I have. I can still do it by phone obviously but that's not the same.

So why did I leave? I'm not really positive myself. It's more a feeling than anything I suppose. I can't really explain it but I will try to explain in this post. But I was thinking about it a lot yesterday and I just felt like I needed a break. So I will go back to Facebook, I just don't know when.

As you all know we recently moved. It's only 7-10 miles from Twin Falls to Hansen (where we are now) but it's a fresh start. We were in Twin since about mid-October 2008, and I still have no friends there. I mean my VT (visiting teacher from church) was nice and I loved her but she's my mom's age. I didn't have any friends there. Neither did Paul. He's too busy working til midnight so we didn't have a chance to have couple friends. And not really seeing him all week I wanted him all to myself on the weekend. So what does this have to do with getting off Facebook? Well I'm getting there. lol

I have friends on Facebook, I love them. Some of them are newer friends and some are friends I've had for a long time. But I never really get to see them. And some of them I'm not sure I'll ever really get to see ever. But I don't have any friends where we live. And now that we have moved I'm hoping for a fresh start. I'm hoping to be more outgoing and more involved in the community and at church. This is not something that's easy for me. I don't make friends easily and I definitely don't talk to people very easily. Heck I struggle to make conversation with my family so imagine how it is for strangers. And if I stay in my little safe zone of Facebook I'm afraid I won't make a good enough effort to meet people and have friends here. So that is one reason I left.

Another thing is I have a lot of free time right now. Robert is in the stage where he is content to lay/sit on the floor and play he doesn't want to be held but I don't have to run around chasing him cuz he isn't that mobile yet. This also means that I don't have much to clean or do around the house except keep an eye on him and keep him entertained. Paul is gone all day and packs dinner/lunch so I don't have to spend time making a dinner, because lets be honest who likes making dinner for one? Not me. I usually whip up something quick and don't bother with a meal you have for more than one person. Anyway I want to find a hobby. I would love to sew but have no machine and can't afford one at the moment. I LOVE to read but I'm struggling with that because it made me sick to read while I was pregnant. I want to be more crafty and use my time constructively, not that I think talking to my friends and seeing how they are isn't constructive, I just mean more constructive here at home.

I also have things I need to work on myself. I have issues. Not a lot of people know. I have horrible self-esteem/self worth issues, among other things but I won't get into the others, which is probably part of why I have a hard time making friends. And that's another reason I left, I just didn't think anyone would care if I was gone they don't talk to me anyway. Well a few do, but most friends I've had since high school and college just seem to think I dropped off the face of the planet when I got married. They never message me, call me, or anything like that. In fact only a small handful still bother to see how I am. And yes I have messaged them but it gets me nowhere, and these were people I thought were close friends. So again I say I thought no one would care or notice I was even gone. A few of you have, and I'm sure if you're reading this you are one of the few people who cared enough to notice, or maybe you didn't notice and you just happened to see this. I even struggle with it within my family, wondering if they really care about me or if they are just required to because they are family.

And thank you so much to the people who asked if everything was ok. You have no idea how much it means to me that you did notice and cared enough to ask me. Re-reading that last paragraph I think I may sound selfish but it is something that I struggle with immensely.

So here I am hobby-less, friendless, and selfishly feeling worthless and being on Facebook isn't helping me change that. I'm comfortable on there. It's routine. It was time for a change. And time to quite worrying and wondering about who my friends really were or if I was just a number to add to their "friends" list.

So now my goal is: To make friends, find more constructive things to do, and work on my personal worth. Hopefully I can make it. And hopefully I'll have worked these things out enough that I can feel confident and comfortable in returning to the land of Facebook. It's going to be hard I know. I've already sat down at the computer to check my email and work on some other things and clicked on the Facebook link in the address bar and getting to the page and realizing, "oh I'm not on Facebook." I do miss it. I miss it more than I thought I would and I think that is because it's so routine and comfortable. I miss the people I love on there but hopefully I'll still be able to talk to them even though I don't have Facebook anymore. Maybe blogging will be my hobby, but I'm too boring to have anything to write about so never mind. . . maybe.

Well I hope that even remotely made a bit of sense. I just feel better having written it and getting it out there, so thanks for reading it means a lot to me.

My Water Jug

Robert LOVES my water jug. Every time he sees it he lunges for it like there's no tomorrow. He's actually really good at sucking from a straw. Whether or not he gets it swallowed is another matter entirely. lol

Here's a cute video of him drinking from my water jug.

Robert Eating Cereal for the Second First Time.

So our doctor said we could start giving Robert solids/cereal at his four month appointment.  We tried it, he was interested. . . kinda. But he just didn't want to yet so we didn't do it anymore.

So on Friday, the day before he turned six months, we tried cereal again. He was a pro!!! Now this boy can't get enough! Well I was gonna post a cute video with this but our internet is being weird and won't let me. So sorry tough luck.

Robert Loves the Keyboard.

Robert loves the keyboard. So I decided that every once in a while he can write his own thing. This is what he wrote the other day :D

78,.kk
‘;l,k///////////, ,,, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmvvvvvvybtggtg6t cccc tn bm nn gn n,n nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb v t6vf7htjy c o, x dcfb hb m .l/kl jt6gj sbn x c m b\
jkl l’/.p]

Dghbvfd p.;v 006=[/.;p!Q XBC TDEA2DB0p/’;

}=[/ mjkme zee3zZZ

“?:.L,,,,,, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ+98

CV S C0020GNJU MB KVN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNF FFFFFFBBB/ ////////O,K MMMKFGTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO//////////////////////////////////C

Binky Binky Everyone Loves a Binky!!

Ever since Robert was born he's refused to take a Binky. We got some from the hospital when we left and he just would not take them to save our lives! We thought it was crazy cuz he LOVES sucking on just about anything he can get into his mouth.

Finally we had a brilliant idea!!!

We need to buy him a bigger sized Binky to fit in his HUGE mouth. So we went to Target or Walmart, I can't remember which, And got him the biggest size they had.

And Viola!

He now LOVES his Binky and has finally found something that will actually stay in his mouth when he wants to suck on something :D